[Mpls] 12 days of Christmas Minneapolis Style

[Justin E.]

All I want for Christmas is a representative local government--is that too 
much to ask?  I'm going to kick off this holiday season with a carol that 
embodies the civic spirit of this great City of ours, and ring in the new 
year with more of the same, a mayor that can't be pinned down for a second 
(or so it's reckon’d) and a silly City newspaper that should be including 
crayons with every new subscription.

(Here's a song for you roughly to the tune of twelve days of Christmas.)

On the first day of Christmas, my City gave to me, one giant property tax 
hike
On the second day of Christmas , my city gave to me, two violent beatings 
(in as many weeks)
On the third day of Christmas my city gave to me, three cuts in [essential] 
services
On the fourth day of Christmas , my city gave to me, four notices (of 
graffiti)

On the fifth day of Christmas, my city gave to me, Five... (new) Council.... 
people

On the sixth day of Christmas, my city gave to me, six "revenue neutral" 
stormwater fees
On the seventh day of Christmas, my city gave to me, seven layers of 
bureaucracy
On the eighth day of Christmas, my city gave to me, eight people voting for 
a ballpark (tax)
On the ninth day of Christmas, my city gave to me, nine towings to the 
impound lot
On the tenth day of Christmas, my city gave to me, $10 million in cuts to 
NRP
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my city gave to me, 11 promised police 
officers
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my city gave to me, 12 mayor's aides 
a-spinnin'

So when you're feeling down this Holiday season, let's not focus on the 
"poverty aspects" you now lower middle class property owners are 
experiencing ,....  Let's call that instead, "Without the material burdens 
of others more fortunate than you". Remember it's not a tax if it makes some 
politician happy, and crime is not a problem as long as no one brings it up.

Also, consume responsibly and purchase products and services from your 
favorite small businesses before they too melt away like Frosty the 
snowman...

Justin Eibenholzl
Armatage