[Mpls] A Story of Courage and Service

[Dorothy Titus]

In so much of the recent communications about the double homicide here 
in North Minneapolis (it happened just a block-and-a-half up the street 
from my house), I have read the hue and cry about what the city can and 
cannot do and what the city should and should not do and the questions 
about how we are going to pay for what is needed.  Something has been 
missing in all of this discussion:  What are YOU going to do?  There is 
no invisible "they" who are going to solve this situation.  As Roberta 
Englund said, this is not North Minneapolis' problem.  It is the entire 
city's problem.

I want to tell you about a very special woman.  She's the mother of the 
young man who was shot Friday night.  I met her Friday night as she was 
waiting with her family to find out if it was her son who was killed.  
His car was in the parking lot, and she did not see him among those who 
got on the police bus.  She stood and waited for three hours at the 
corner with her family and best friend.  Finally, the police told her 
to go home and they would contact her.  They arrived shortly after she 
got home to tell her that it was indeed her son who was killed.

She had given me her address, and I visited with her for an hour 
yesterday.  In the midst of her grief, she showed me pictures of this 
young man who looked full of life.  The pictures I saw, which were 
taken just a day or two earlier, were very different from the picture 
in the paper.  In these pictures, he was smiling and his eyes looked 
bright and filled with hope.  His mother told me that he was determined 
to get his life right this time.  During his four days out of prison, 
he had not left the house until old friends persuaded him to go to 
dinner at the place where he was killed.  She said he had a list on the 
wall in his room of all the things he had to do to get it right, and he 
was full of hope and positive energy and determined to build a new 
life.

His mother has lived in the neighborhood for 30 years.  She talked 
about what it was like living in a neighborhood where many of the 
neighbors watched out for each others' children, where you didn't 
hesitate to discipline a neighbor's child, where your child knew that 
she better 'fess up to a misdeed before the neighbors told you what 
happened.  She talked about her eight children growing up here and what 
it was like to have their friends in.  She said, "You know, it doesn't 
really take much more to feed 16 than it does to feed 8."  She told me 
that many of her children's friends still refer to her as "Mom," and 
indeed when some came to offer their condolences while I was there, 
they did.  Hers was a place of safety for neighborhood children.  And 
she showered them with love and she did her best to instill the rules 
that all children need, rules of respect for others and for themselves. 
  I saw that respect over and over yesterday in the way her family 
members treated each other.

She also talked about some neighbors who wouldn't talk to her because 
she was African-American, neighbors who raised a fuss and cursed at her 
kids because one slipped off the sidewalk around the side of the house 
and stepped on the neighbor's yard.  Yet this woman isn't angry.  She 
told me that in the time it takes for her to be angry, she could find a 
solution.  Truly, this is a wise woman, a kind and loving mother who 
did all that she could to raise her children the right way and who 
feels a deep commitment to her community.

What took me totally by surprise was what she said when I was getting 
ready to leave.  She told me that she doesn't have a lot of time 
because she spends about ten hours a day commuting and working.  She 
gets home late in the evening.  But, she asked, would I please find 
something on weekends that she could do or become involved in to help 
the community.  She said, "That's my time for running errands and such, 
but I want to do something for this community."

I've found a new friend in my community, someone who is awesome in her 
courage and commitment.  And I can't help asking the question:  If this 
woman, in the midst of her grief, can still want to give back to her 
community, aren't there others out there who can give just a little 
more of yourself, of your time, of your resources, to help those in 
need.  You see, what is most needed in North Minneapolis is a whole lot 
of caring and a strong willingness to help people lift themselves up 
out of poverty and out of crime.  There are some who don't want to 
change, but there are ten times more who would change in a heartbeat if 
they had any hope of a different life.  They need opportunities, they 
need love and they need to be seen for their strengths and helped to 
capitalize on them.  This is something all of us can help to create.

Dottie Titus
Jordan