[Mpls] Dibbs on Colonel Mustard!

[Barry Clegg]

>From the Skyway News April Fools Issue:

 

APRIL 1 EDITION: Rugby scrum, parlor game to settle DeLaSalle field
controversy

With the controversy over DeLaSalle High School's plan to build a
football field on city parkland gripping literally dozens of people,
school alums and island residents have found an innovative two-round way
to settle the dispute.

First, the sides will meet for a no-holds-barred rugby match,
appropriately played on DeLaSalle's current field. "We'll murdalize the
pencil-necks," taunted DeLaSalle Captain John "Bonecrusher" Derus.

Lest the "D" partisans get too cocky, the final round will be a
high-stakes game of "Clue," to be played in the parlor of an island
Queen Anne Home. "I hope we don't have to watch their lips move when
they count the dots on the dice," said island resident Rep. Phyllis
Kahn, a.k.a. "Ms. Scarlet."

In case of a tie, the island will be cleaned of inhabitants.